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Looking Good

November 2, 2014 Leave a comment Go to comments

Over this weekend, normal people weekend not a weekend for me, I had a few folks remark on my look.
Began when I went to a show at the Rep.
Now understand I had already worked a full day.
A full day in a warehouse.
A full chilly, uneventful, day assembling a lighitng package in Kent, Washington.
You know the kind of thing you dream about as a child.
Still it working is better than not and while the work was a dull undertaking at least the company was good.

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This all occurred Thursday and that evening I went to see a show called the Vaudevillains at the Seattle Rep. So here is where I did something a bit out the norm for many technical theatre people. I dressed up.
Here is where I could put a long winded critique of Seattle dress, or how people attend the theatre in general. Thing is this type of thing really reads as exclusionary when theatres need their audiences and while I would like others to dress for them just attending is enough. So while I would prefer people to dress better just solving the problem of getting people in the door is a bigger issue.

Any way as a friend let me into the theatre, a perk of working in the industry, she said I looked “dapper”.
Well it was what I had been going for so good on me.
Good show, of what I could hear, and wish it ran longer but that is neither here nor there. Glad I got to see it.

That night my cat and I visited the all night vet.
I don’t really want to say more than she is recovering and I had a rough night.
The next warehouse day wasn’t so good but could have been a lot worse.

On Saturday I helped out at Seattle Children’s Theatre.
I used to be on staff there and still have a few friends and helped out the best I could.
Mostly I worked on the grid doing what I will be doing on Monday.
Letting in circuits.
Yet while on a break I saw a stage manager I hadn’t seen in a while. We joked for a bit and I was leaving she says, “You look good.”
Not sure how to take this I tell her, “This isn’t for you, for me but not for you.” And I slap my butt. Everyone laughs.
Thing is I didn’t know how to accept that compliment.

Today was a restore day at the Fabulous Fifth Ave and I came ready to work.
Yet by the end of the day a fellow worker I have known almost my entire time in Seattle also tells me I am looking good. More shocked than anything this compliment coming from a straight male coworker I have less idea how to take it.

Now I don’t claim to be very attractive.
In fact for much of my life I cared little about my looks and may have even gone to lengths to show that.
Being unhappy with one’s physical appearance can do that to a person.
I never quite looked the way I thought I should believed I did.
Partially deluded and with a low self image I escaped that by any means I could.
I have many examples of odd things I did to escape some basic ridicule by not quite fitting a mold. But really I remember that for a part of my most awkward, challenging years, the only people that told me I looked good were older gay men.
Now before ideas get hatched nothing happened.
Just so happened living in Long Beach one can run into these gents and for whatever reason I would get the occasional compliment.
Not cat called, or overly close conversation, just a random sort of thing.
And looking back that helped in some fashion.

So now as I receive more and more compliments about my dress sense or looks I have little idea how to take that but with a glib remark, if dressed poorly, or a thankful response, if dressed well.

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